Intuition Saved My Life!
Photo by Muhammed Burak Duman on Unsplash
Written by: Kaveh Naficy
When I came back to the United States to attend college I started to have a feeling that I should not go back to Iran after my graduation. I could not explain this feeling to anyone rationally. After all, my parents were from two of the most prominent families in Iran. Our family connections extended from the royal family to every part of society. At the time Iran was the second highest oil producing country in the middle east after Saudi Arabia and awash in petro dollars.
The shah and the government of Iran had encouraged and sent thousands of young people to universities abroad to be educated and to return to fuel the amazing modernization and development that the country was experiencing. We thought of ourselves as the generation that would be remembered for accelerating Iran’s entry into the next wave of developed economies and comparisons were made to the tiger economies of southeast asia.
But something was not right.
The nagging feeling I had inside me to delay going back got stronger and its inner voice louder. “You cannot go back. You have to do everything in your power to delay it. It does not matter what job you take or who you have to get on your side, you will regret going back there…” and on and on it went.
I recall being on a ski trip in Colorado with my close Iranian college friends. We were having the time of our lives. The ski conditions were perfect. We were blessed with beautiful sunny days and deep powder. We were carefree and returning to our country with plenty of opportunities and our families waiting for our return. So proud of their U.S educated son or daughter. We had wonderful conversations and roaring with laughter (Persians have a wonderful sense of humor and Persian jokes are nuanced and funny).
Yet every so often in the midst of this energy a dark and morbid feeling would start in my stomach and work its way all of the way to the top of my head. I would become quiet and anxious. The next thought was, “You can’t go back. Delay as much as possible.”
My friends who were counting the days to go back would ask what is wrong? And when I told them they broke out in laughter and would say “What is not to like about going back?”
And as the universe would have it, once one of my friends saw that I was serious, he shared the name of headhunter who found me a way to delay my return.
I enrolled in two consecutive graduate programs to delay my return. A masters in industrial and labor relations from Cornell and a masters in business administration from Boston College. At the conclusion of my MBA, I found a search firm (through my ski trip friend) that specialized in finding trainees and interns for multinational companies that were looking for educated local citizens of countries they did business in.
The strategy was for these young interns to spend a year to 18 months (the maximum length for a U.S training visa at the time) learning their corporate culture and business and to be sent to their country of origin as future leaders and executives. In doing so these companies wanted to bring back their expatriate employees and replace them with permanent local hires thus reducing their cost and being able to place them in other parts of their global franchise where they were needed. When I was presented with such an opportunity I did not hesitate.
The initial training was for 6 months. However, at the conclusion of my 6 month assignment my sponsor extended it to 12 months. He and I had a good relationship and he believed that I had the potential to some day head up the operation in Iran. Bill was a “good old boy” from the south. With a heart as big as the Grand Canyon. He was fascinated with my culture and experiences and invited me often to join him for lunch and drinks. He loved backgammon and every Persian has backgammon in their blood. So we would take breaks and play and chat. Bill was tall and slim. He parted his distinguished white hair in the middle and combed back. His deep blue eyes always seemed to have a spark of energy in them. He dressed as everyone did those days in the financial district. White shirt, suite, ties and black shoes. But with him you always felt there was a person behind the uniform.
He said “If you are going to be the top dog one day you have to learn about all of our lines of business and not just the personal lines (as opposed to casualty, etc.).
Of course I was delighted. My sense of doom in returning to Iran got louder by the day.
I was especially worried about the two year mandatory military duty that was awaiting me. I could not explain it rationally. The regime ensured that after the initial basic training all college educated draftees, particularly those graduating from schools in the U.S or Europe, would complete the remainder of their military obligation by working at an organization or in academia. And since I would be pledged to AIG’s operations in Iran, it was almost guaranteed that I would be placed as a mid level executive and continue my career as planned.
But the feeling only got stronger. At the time I was seeing a wonderful woman who, like me, was in training with her company. One day she asked me why I looked so worried. I shared my sense of doom about returning home. She completely understood and told me she sees me as an intuitive person and it was one of the reasons she was attracted to me.
She had strong intuitive intelligence. And she listened and acted on it. For example, being Jewish, her parents had admonished her for wasting her time with an Iranian muslim. They asked her, “What do you think will come of this? He is just going to use you and leave you.” She looked them both in the eyes and told them “I don’t care about what will happen in the future. He feels right for me and I am going to let it go where it will naturally go. And wherever that is I feel is where god intends me to go and there will be something there waiting for me.” Her parents thought she had lost her mind and decided not to talk to her about it again. They were convinced that she would regret her decision and come around.
She said to me, “Listen, if it gets louder and your company does not keep you here, I will marry you so you can stay here. Then we see if we want to stay with each other. If it doesn’t work out it is what is meant to be…” Tears poured out of my eyes. I could not believe the spiritual awareness and purity that she embodied at such a young age (she was 25). I embraced her and told her how she continued to amaze me. I told her I felt she has a soul that is years older than her physical age. How rare it was for people to feel their destiny in their body and even more difficult for them to listen to and act on that intelligence.
Then came the smile which is entrenched in my mind for the rest of my life. She looked into my eyes with those big almond shaped eyes and the most peaceful and beautiful smile formed in her face and she said with total conviction, “What else is there?”
And in that moment my soul understood exactly what she meant and, they were the perfect words for me.
What she meant was that since we are each uniquely wired for a purpose and on earth for a relatively short period what else is there other than that which our souls instructs us to do.
Later as a way to test my own intuitive understanding, I asked her if my interpretation was accurate. She first said it did not matter what she meant so long as my soul had interpreted it that way it was the appropriate interpretation. Then she said, “Look, I know you are anxious and worried about what to do with your life and what decisions to make. So I will answer your question because I think you are really going to have to listen to your feelings and this might give you a dose of confidence. Yes, that is exactly what I meant.”
I told her how much I appreciated her offer, but I also knew the pressure that would put on her relationship with her parents and her community. I told her I would try every other avenue first. If we ever got married, the first condition would be that no one would know and the second would be that we would get divorced as soon as my green card came through. Because being with her was more important to me than any legal attachments that might complicate things for her in society. And she answered with the second smile I will never forget. When we are in an intuitive connection words are not as necessary.
After a year of training, my sponsor Bill took me to the side and said. “I like you and you have done a good job. Legally I can get you one last rotation for six months and then immigration issues move in. It is up to you. I can understand if you are getting homesick and want to return to your country and start your life. And you have been trained on about 75% of our products and services. There is about 25% which has mostly to do with following our insurance agents and brokers in the field to get a really good sense of what they do and how to sell. If you are interested I can push so you can get that experience too.”
It took me less than a minute to tell him to count me in. I told him what is six months more when I can get such a valuable experience and thanked him effusively. He was a little taken back with how quickly I made up my mind. However, in no way was I going to discuss an intuitive gut feeling with a multinational insurance company executive based in Manhattan New York in the 1970’s. He would have immediately changed his mind about me and would probably have questioned my ability to make rational/no nonsense decisions in my future roles as an executive for one of their fastest growing and profitable operations.
As it turned out, the last month of my training coincided with the Iranian revolution of 1979. The shah of Iran was deposed and left the country and many multinational organizations such the AIG operations were nationalized.
My father who was revered as the founder of technical education in Iran and numerous other contributions to the country was put in jail on a complaint made by an under performer. Someone who saw the chaos following the dissolution of the shah’s power as an ideal opportunity to oust my father. In order to take over the private technical college he had built as the final and the crowning achievement of his career.
Kaveh Naficy
Kaveh Naficy is an executive coach, located in the Raleigh Durham North Carolina area and the founding partner at Lakida LLC.
Kaveh coached/coaches numerous CEO’s, C suite executives, board members and top next generation talent across industries, genders and ethnic backgrounds.
Executives who have worked with Kaveh say that his strengths are his intuitive ability to move past words to detect root issues and signals that lead to underutilizing strengths and/or interfere with optimal performance.
Kaveh is a “coach of coaches.” He founded and created the Rutgers University and American University coaching certification programs. He has trained nearly 1000 coaches during his career and has been recognized by his students and both universities for his knowledge, partnership and contributions.
A partial list of Kaveh’s cross industry clients include: Nokia, Polycom, Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson, Merck, Engie, BP, Lending Tree and Capital One
Importantly, the Iran Iraq war coincided with the exact time I would have served in the military. As opposed to the previous regime which recognized the importance of placing the newly minted western educated workforce in important and urgent positions. The Ayatollah and his cronies saw anyone whose family was of prominence as a threat and made a special effort to send their children to the front where most perished.
My intuition had guided me to delay my return until the last possible moment. Seeing the operation being nationalized, AIG pulled out of the country. Since I had by now been trained in all aspects of their business model they felt they could get a return on their investment by applying for a green card for me and putting me to work.
The revolution caused much pain and sorrow. And my family had its share. However, my intuition led me to choices which literally saved my life.